An African Woman’s View on The Book ‘Tomorrow I Become a Woman’
When I first found the book, ‘Tomorrow I Become a Woman’ by Aiwanose Odafen, I thought it would be another book by a Nigerian author that fails to capture the essence of what it truly means to be a Nigerian woman but the author blew my mind. The book captures the struggle of the Nigerian woman trying to live up to societal and cultural expectations within the confines of a difficult marriage. Set in a time when war was underfoot and the world wasn’t so civilized, we travel into a time not spoken about enough, ‘The Nigerian civil war’. We experience the events leading up to the war, and the military regimes and see the impact on those it left alive.
When the story begins, we meet Uju, a smart and intelligent university girl who despite her feminist views bows to pressure from her mother and gets married. In the beginning, the new couple might have looked like a match made in heaven but Uju’s world soon comes crashing down when Gozie discovers contraceptive pills in her underwear drawer.
This part of the book reveals a period when women had no rights or a say over their own lives and bodies. This manifested in little things like; Gozie deciding when they would marry, when they would have children, what would become of her dreams and ambitions, if she would keep her friends, how she must act and so much more.
Most of these things while they might have seemed thoughtful of him when they were dating soon became him making decisions without consulting her. Of course, all the blame isn’t dropped at his doorstep, the author shows us in detail how her family, society, and even the church enabled him and supported him while declaring her the outcast. The book also alludes to how women pretend to be okay with certain things just so they can be considered to be ‘wife-material’.
Two things made me love the book more; one was her brothers standing up for her a few times and the second was the popular roadside snacks that the average Nigerian can still relate to even in these modern times.
The book doesn’t leave out scenes of domestic violence and victim-blaming as it is still prevalent in today’s society. The author shows Gozie consistently verbally and physically abusing her while the pastor and her mother gaslight her, manipulating her to believe that Gozie’s outbursts and abuse of her were somehow her faults.
I love the fact that the book isn’t just based on her own experience but it showed that women of all tribes and colors had similar experiences in their marriages. It also showed how society doesn’t accept you as a woman until you have had a male child resulting in avoidable deaths like Chinelo’s. The book also exposed how society attempted to condition women to believe that cheating was in a man’s nature and was the woman’s fault as seen in Adaugo’s marriage.
The book also showed how tribalistic and paranoid people became after the civil war. Even today, many parents still don’t welcome the idea of marriage to other tribes. The author also mentioned the political and socioeconomic situation in the country.
Aiwanose Odafen wrote a book that is as relevant today as it is in the time it was set in. This is a true masterpiece, a must-read for every African woman. I would love to see more books like this come out of Africa.
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